Pineapples
by FaeSoDivine
Summary: And so it was that the Pineapple hairstyle was widely popular, thanks to a certain blondehaired Suna kunoichi and a certain lazy genius, who were merely satisfying their own jelous desires to sport the opposite hairstyle as their partner.[implied content]


**My dear and loyal fans, this is a one-shot dedicated to Shikamaru and Temari. Might I also add that it is also an apology, as I haven't updated Before the Pizza in many the weeks. I shall so eloquently inform the likes of you , this: I shall update soon. Now, onto the one-shot, my dear chaps!**

**Disclaimer: no. kthxbye**

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Lo and behold, a curious sight is seen. Said sight is peculiar in ways that most ninja can not understand, as it is a sight of love between the two most unexpected people.

One ninja is dubbed ' lazy ass' while the other called ' troublesome.' The two of them have different qualities to their names, yet one thing is similar: their hairstyle, formally known as The Pineapple. The Pineapple is indeed an unusual hairstyle, and only three known people sport it. Said people are the boy, the girl, and a random ninja named Iruka. ( Alas, however, Iruka has nothing to do with the relationship between the boy and the girl.) The girl wears The Pineapple in fours, while the guy has a single Pineapple atop his head.

While both ninja tease each other about the shared hairstyle, they envy one another for it as well. The boy is jealous of the girl's multitude of Pineapples, and the girl is jealous of the boy's single Pineapple that is at such an angle that it looks as though it will jump off his head and promptly eat the nearest person.

And so they are sad. But not quite, as they love each other immensely.

" Dammit, Temari, don't touch my hair."

" Ah, but it taunts me, Shikamaru."

" How so?"  
" Well..it makes me want to throw you on the bed and - **censored**-."

" Oh."

" So?"  
" Okay."

And Temari did just that.

--------

It came to the time when Temari woke up. She took a shower, got dressed, and was reaching for her ribbons she used to tie up her hair, when she realized they weren't there. She promptly leaned down on the floor and searched for said ribbons, rooting through random articles, such as the clothes that were tossed on the floor the night before. The searching was merely useless, however, as all she found was Shikamaru's boxers and a stale slice of pepperoni-pineapple pizza.

She pounced onto the bed and rooted around in the covers for a bit before locating her boyfriend, Shikamaru, ( who was, in fact, entirely naked) and poking him hard in the arm.

He opened one eye and stared at her, noticing how she was fully dressed already yet her hair was down. " Where are your ponytails? " he asked her in a bored tone, trying not to let on that he did miss those beautiful Pineapples so.

" I was hoping you would know," Temari said through gritted teeth. She looked in envy at Shikamaru's single Pineapple ponytail that stayed gloriously atop his head and wished her ponytails could be as wonderful as his lone one.

" Why would I know where they are? They don't stay on _my _head," remarked Shikamaru casually, although wishing such ponytails did stay on his head.

" You're the one that took the ribbons out of my hair after so charmingly coaxing me out of my clothes," Temari hissed. She looked entirely pissed-off at that point, and Shikamaru couldn't help but cringe. Oh, why did he take those beautiful ponytails down?  
" So, you can't find your ribbons?"

" Obviously."

" Oh. Did you look on the floor?"

" Yes."

" What about the bed?"

Temari kicked Shikamaru off the bed and began rummaging around the covers. She then pushed the covers off the bed as well, and they ended up on top of Shikamaru who was sprawled, naked on the floor. Too lazy to get up, of course.

" Yes," said Temari after finding no ribbons.

" Then use some of my hair bands; they're on top of the dresser," Shikamaru said, his voice muffled.

Temari jumped off the bed and landed with a satisfying 'crunch' on Shikamaru. He groaned and she got off of him, smirking profoundly. She made her way to the mentioned dresser and picked up a very limp looking piece of string. She held it away from her in distaste and walked over to Shikamaru, who was by that time sitting on the edge of the bed wearing boxers.

" This?" She shoved it in his face.

" Yeah," Shikamaru murmured, swatting the piece of string out of his face before slipping his net like-clothing on.

" It's boring," stated Temari, narrowing her eyes at him.

" Boring? It's a piece of string, of course it's boring." He pulled on his pants and looked around for his vest.

" Don't you have any ribbons?" Temari questioned, reaching down to pick up his vest. She handed it to him.

" Why would I have any ribbons?"  
Temari didn't answer but looked at the string instead.

Shikamaru pulled on some shoes. He looked up to see Temari with a pouting look on her face. " What?" he said, standing up as well.

" Don't you have anymore?" she said, frowning.

" String? No," he said.

Temari frowned for a moment before walking off into the bathroom. She slammed the door shut, leaving Shikamaru to stare in wonder at the closed door. What was that troublesome woman doing?

He got his answer as she walked out of the bathroom, an evident frown on her face and a pineapple atop her head. Shikamaru gaped. How could she pull of his hairstyle so much better than himself?

Temari was giddy with joy, but she didn't show it on the outside." Shikamaru, I look like you."

" Y-yeah," Shikamaru mumbled, staring at her. Looking at the pineapple ponytail atop his girlfriend's head, he could only wonder why his ponytail looked so lame, yet when it was on her head it looked so great.

She frowned at him and turned on her heels. She walked out the bedroom door and out of the house, with Shikamaru in tow.

Once they got outside, Temari suddenly herded Shikamaru against the front door and pinned him to it with her arm. She kissed him hard on the lips before breaking away a few seconds later, leaving Shikamaru gasping for breath. She continued walking.

" What the hell was that?!" he said, getting his breath back. He caught up with her and stopped in front of her.

" I feel confident, for some reason," she said, walking around him, pulling his arm along as she did so. She ended up practically dragging him down the street, and it certainly attracted some attention.

A blonde head poked out of Ichiraku Ramen, followed by a violet-colored one. Whilst Hinata merely marveled at the pineapple atop the passing Temari's head, Naruto loudly exclaimed, " Wow, Temari, you look hot!"

At which point a few more heads popped out from behind the ramen stand. Kiba wolf whistled, Sakura and Ino totally gaped, Lee yelled " OH, WHAT A YOUTHFUL PINEAPPLE!" while his teeth went _ping_, and Chouji drooled. ( Of course, he could have been thinking her hair actually _was_ a pineapple.)

Shikamaru glared at the idiots as the pair passed the ramen stand. He glanced at Temari who seemed as if she was enjoying the attention. He growled irritably. Typical that Temari could pull off something so much better than him……

Suddenly, his eyes twinkled mischievously, and he shook Temari off his arm. " I'm sure you can make it to the Hokage Tower by yourself. I have to go check up on the deer, okay? Meet you later." He leaned down and gave Temari a quick kiss before sprinting off, not even giving her any time to react.

------

Shikamaru had not specified when he would meet Temari, or even where. So she just decided to wander into the ramen shop and sit down casually; oh, her Pineapple sure was grabbing people's attention. One would think _four_ Pineapples would grab attention, but maybe they didn't just suit her. She liked to think that she discovered a true calling for her hair. To hell if she stole it from Shikamaru; it looked better on her!

With those thoughts on her mind, she sat down in the ramen stall beside an unsuspecting Hyuuga Neji. He took one look at her and practically melted.

" Why, I do believe you are Hyuuga Neji," said she, batting her eyelashes ever so softly. Neji totally fell backwards off his chair, stunned by the beautiful affect the Pineapple had on the foreign woman.

The Hyuuga's falling attracted a few stares from the other people seated nearby. Those stares turned into shouts of love or admiration or (in Chouji's case) hunger. Temari merely sat there, acting as though she was ignoring the ninja who were crowding around her. She was fully taking advantage off the Pineapple.

However, a ponderous moment occurred in which the shouts died down and she was sitting, caked in silence. She looked up from her ramen bowl and turned to her side to see the previous possible future stalkers staring in wonder behind her.

At which point she turned around and found herself face to face with her boyfriend. Who was sporting four Pineapples atop his head.

Her mouth fell open. " Shi-Shi-Shika.." She was too stunned to say anything else.

The rest of the ninja, however, said something. Or, more like, yelled something.

" OHMYGAWDSHIKAMARUISEFFINGHAWT!!!"

" SHIKAMARU!!YOUR YOUTFULLNESS IS ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL!!"  
" WHAT A MANLY HAIRSTYLE!!"

" _FOUR_ PINEAPPLES!"

And so on and so forth.

Until, that is, Temari interrupted them. She stood up, stomped over to Shikamaru, and grabbed him by the shirt. " Who the hell do you think you are, impersonating MY hairstyle? I ought to kick kill you. NO ONE gets way with stealing MY hairstyle." It was silent until she let go of his shirt and almost knocked him over, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him hard on the lips.

A few minutes later, she let go of him and said, " You do, however, look damn hot in four ponytails."

So it was true. One would also wish to think that four Pineapples would look absolutely ridiculous on a male human being. However, Shikamaru proved it wrong.

" That was my intention," stated Shikamaru.

And the screaming started up again.

" PINEAPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

-----

The next day, there was a new fad in the village: Pineapple hairstyles.

Temari stood perplexed at the Konoha gate ( still wearing her lone Pineapple, one might add). Shikamaru stood beside her, a frown on his face.

Finally, she sighed and reached to the top of her head. Shikamaru followed her movements and watched as she pulled down the Pineapple. Her hair caught in the wind and flew behind her. Shikamaru followed suit and took down his four Pineapples.

" Whoever came up with that hairstyle?" she asked in disgust.

He shrugged and leaned down to kiss her good-bye. " I don't know, but whoever did should be killed."

----

Far off (actually, it was only in the Konaha School), Iruka sneezed. " Someone must be talking about me," he said, before looking across his classroom at the kids who all sported Pineapple hairstyles.

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**I don't like the ending. **

**TELL ME WHAT YA THINK, MY DEAR. WINK WINK**


End file.
